Influencer Zainab Al-Eqabi in conversation: „Being in the water gives me a sense of freedom“

Ms Al-Eqabi, you are a real sports enthusiast: You swim, you scuba dive, you did boxing, you took part in triathlons – you even hauled a jeep once!

(Laughs) I was surprised too – the jeep really was moving.

Which sport will you try out next?           

I haven’t shared this with anyone at all, but recently I started taking private classes for diving! I love adrenaline and I used to get that when I travelled. Covid affected me mentally, so I tried my best to look for new hobbies. I first tried diving when I was part of a campaign for a sporting goods manufacturer.

Tell us about that.

We were swimming in the pool, but I couldn’t resist checking out the platform. I gave it a shot and I jumped from a 3m platform. 3m is not a big deal - but it was for me. I had never even jumped from the edge of a pool before. So, all of a sudden, I immediately jumped from 3m. It’s difficult to try something like that when you are an adult. When you are a child, these sports are easy. I still make horrible mistakes, but I enjoy it a lot. 

What does sport mean to you in general?            

I can’t deny it - I have to work out and take care of my body. I wear a prosthetic leg. That means I need to strengthen my back. The fitter I am, the more I am able to walk long distances and be completely independent. So, working out and having these muscles enables me to lead a complete life. Nevertheless, it’s also a source of joy. It takes the stress away, it feels like an achievement. I’m always very curious when it comes to discovering new sports.

Have you always been interested in sports or did this curiosity come later in your life?   

When I was a child, my parents wanted me to go to school and have fun with my friends. My sister learned how to swim, but my parents never pushed me because they were concerned: “Will she fit in with everyone else? Will anyone bother her by the way they look at her?” So, I had no idea how to swim – until I became a university student. I remember this very well. I was in year three of pharmacy college and had back pain, so I did a scan. My doctor saw my back was curved, which wasn’t unexpected because I’ve been limping since I was seven years old. He said: “Listen, to stop the pain, from now on, you will only have one answer when people ask you what you are doing. Swimming. Either in the pool or at the beach.” I remember leaving the hospital crying because I didn’t know how this would work out. 

What did you do then?

The next day I went to see the swimming coach at the female sports complex at my university. I asked her if she thought I could learn to swim. She got mad and just said: “Bring your swimwear tomorrow, now leave.” She dedicated her time to me and taught me how to swim. I became an addict. Whenever my friends couldn’t find me, they knew: “Ugh, she has gone to the pool”. 

It seems like water has a special meaning to you. 

When I am in the water without my prothesis, I feel like I am fully abled because nothing restricts me. Now I am even a licenced scuba diver – I am allowed to dive down to 20 meters. Being in the water gives me a sense of freedom. That’s what I really feel when I’m in the pool - complete freedom. It feels like all the negative energy is taken away by the water, there’s something magical about it. 

© promo

You got your prosthesis as a child after an accident at home. Can you tell us about that? 

We moved to our house in 1990, the year I was born. There was a thing in our garden. We thought some workers had left it while doing construction work, but later, when the accident happened, we found out that it was actually a bomb left over from the war of 1990. But before the accident, we had no idea because it didn’t look at all like a bomb; it just looked like a tool. The shape of it was very misleading, and throughout the years, many people used it to fix many different things with it - but nothing happened. So, in 1997, I wanted my father to fix my bicycle for me. I still remember this moment. We went into our garden and sat on the swing. I got him the box where we used to keep all our tools. I handed it to him, we got the hammer, and we got this “thing.” It fit perfectly in the handlebar of my bicycle. Then, with the friction of the hammer, the explosion happened. There was no war in 1997, and everything was quiet. All of a sudden, you could hear an explosion in one of the houses. My dad lost his hand, he had many operations, and it was a miracle he survived. My younger sister was also with us, her thigh was injured, but luckily, she was not in a critical situation. 

What happened to you?

My leg was badly injured in the explosion, but it didn’t have to be amputated yet. The problem was that the hospitals kept my casts on for way too long. My tissue died and gangrene developed. It was so close to the knee that the doctors had to amputate a part of my leg. That’s when I lost my leg – it was not a one-day event. It was life-changing in every aspect. We are a family of six. Half of the family was hospitalised. It was a long journey of physiotherapy and full recovery afterwards. 

How did you move after the amputation?

At first, I jumped on one leg. I didn’t accept the crutches for a long time. I was worried about what society would think about me: When I was young, there were advertisements on TV that showed people who hadn’t taken the polio vaccination and how they ended up having to use crutches or wheelchairs. The government used to put these ads on TV to get people to get the vaccine. So, when after my accident I saw the crutches, I remembered the ad. I thought: “I don’t want to be like them.” Then, one day I was fighting with my sister and my uncle said: “Listen, this is a good chance. Do you want to use the crutch to hit her? You can run faster with them, and if you don’t catch her, you can just hit her!” That was the only way to get me to use the crutches (laughs). I really hit many children when I was young - even when I returned to school in second grade. I used my first prosthesis just before starting third grade. It was the worst prothesis ever. It was too heavy for a child. My uncle was in Germany at that time. When he heard about the amputation, he started to ask around and heard about Ottobock, a huge prosthetics manufacturer. It was challenging to coordinate everything with my orthopaedic technician in Baghdad and to buy and ship the prosthesis. But in the end, he helped me get my first suitable leg prosthesis. I remembered Ottobock very well because of this story. And now, this little girl from Iraq who struggled a lot to get a fitting prosthesis is an ambassador for this company. 

How did you experience the awareness of people around you for your disability back then? 

My family kept my surroundings as safe as possible. At school, everyone knew who I was, and my teachers made sure that I was really included. But I didn’t know what “the society” was like until I got into college. That was a turning point. When I told people there that I wear a prosthetic leg, they asked me what that meant. Many people don’t understand what an amputation really is because the prosthetic leg has a cosmetic part and the leg is fully covered. People tend to hide rather than share. They don’t like to expose what they are going through. I remember taxi drivers who refused to accept my money because of their pity. Other drivers accused me of asking for sympathy by showing my leg. I realised I had the responsibility to raise awareness. 

One day you decided to take off the cosmetic part of your leg. 

I did this because I think it shows reality. It doesn’t mean that I’m weak or asking for sympathy. For my family, that was tough as well, especially for my father - he lived with a feeling of guilt for so many years, that’s why he was super protective when I was a child. Even when I started my journey on social media, he was not supportive at first. He said to me: “You are overexposing yourself. Society is not what you think it is.” My family didn’t see any meaning in it. That was painful for me, but when they saw people looking at me in the street, it was also a constant reminder of the accident - until they attended a TED Talk I did. That was a few months after taking off the cosmetic part of my prosthesis. It was about my disability and why it is a source of motivation and happiness. My family listened to me and they saw everyone’s reaction. That’s when the tables turned and I got their full support.

In Germany, people with disabilities say that in the 1990s and early 2000s, there were few opportunities to connect with adults with similar amputations who could support or simply understand them. How was it for you in Baghdad and later in the UAE? Did you have a role model or people in your life with a similar amputation? 

I would never see an adult role model around me who had a disability. That’s why I was doubtful about what I was able to do with the prosthesis. Swimming was when I started breaking barriers. I went to the gym, and I started going to all disabled games and competitions around –this was especially important to me. The first time I saw someone running on a sports prosthesis, I thought: “Huh, so I can run as well?!” I live in the United Arab Emirates now. The government here is passing laws and is working to create awareness for disabilities. It was different in Iraq. There are many countries in the Middle East where it is challenging to get support as a person with a disability. 

Today you are a TV host, you are a YouTuber, a lifestyle influencer with more than 1.5 million subscribers on social media platforms, you work for Ottobock. But you originally studied pharmacy. How did this change happen?

I think life drives you - that’s the answer. I love being a pharmacist. I studied hard, and I graduated with honours, I was a nerd. I worked in the pharma industry for three years, handled regulatory affairs, and managed medical sales in different departments. Then I resigned. I went to the UK for my Masters and did a totally different course, International Social Works and Community Development. When I came back, I didn’t want to come back as an employee. I did well on social media. I started by creating a page on Facebook called “Disabled and Proud.” Later, I shared parts of my life, travels, and experiences with a disability. First, I reached 200,000 followers, and then 500,000, the numbers started growing and growing. 

What happened next?

Finally, in 2017/18, I dedicated all my energy to it. In the following year, Ottobock approached me. This field means a lot to me – it’s me. The industry is something I live with daily. I work in the Marketing and Social Media Middle East department. But I never had to give up my own social media. It is my passion, so this right now is where I am – this is where I see myself. I’m not the kind of person who just sits and chills. Nevertheless, it is mentally exhausting to host a TV show, work for Ottobock and create for social media at the same time. I am running 24/7. 

What does your work in social media involve?

It’s really a lot of work. The main challenge is brainstorming and constantly coming up with new ideas. I need to focus, to put real emotions and authenticity into my posts and videos. Besides, there are so many platforms. You can’t stay out long; you have to keep up-to-date and remain connected. Plus, there is this rule: Once something is online, that’s it. There is no way back.

People who watch your videos on YouTube or follow you on Instagram can sense your strong self-confidence and positivity. What do you gain your enormous strength from? 

There were so many “Nos” in my life, and one day I started to feel that I needed to have a “Yes” in my life ­ whether I was going to build it on my own, whether people were going to accept it or not. I’m a stubborn person who doesn’t give up. Of course, I also feel sad, I let myself be broken, I cry so I can breathe again. My confidence is something I constantly have to work on, as situations, life phases and surroundings change. It’s all about the mindset. 

Is this enough when it comes to mental health? 

I think that many things we go through are strongly related to our mindsets. Nevertheless, mental health is a very sensitive topic. I don’t want to generalise one rule – that would be very selfish and careless towards others. You can’t just say: “It’s okay, it’s going to pass. People need different forms of support; we should listen, and we should talk about this. 

People with disabilities have to adapt to society in a certain way – to expectations and to barriers in everyday life. It seems like a one-way road. If you could change one thing, what would you like society to adapt to? 

You need to let me wish for at least ten things (laughs). I wish people were less judgemental. People don’t realise their impact on others, the way they look at us because of how we look or walk. People can ruin a whole life just by judging. 

One of your goals is to change people’s views on disability - you’ve been visible for a few years now. What do you think has changed since then?

I feel the rise of awareness for people with disabilities – thanks to social media. Social media obviously has negative effects, but on the other hand, you can now easily see what’s happening across the world. You can see videos going viral that were created in a small town somewhere on the other side of the world. This is the power of social media. I am grateful that I can contribute to such awareness. It was not always easy to create that kind of content. But usually, when I post something related to protheses and technology, the view count rises. I get a lot of messages about disability. People ask about the prosthesis itself or about self-acceptance. The community is growing, I’m happy when I see any Arab with any kind of disability on the platforms, and I think: “Yes, finally, people dare to show themselves.”

Delia Kornelsen